100 Fantasy Bookstore Titles - Roll a d100 For any random book. - Roll a d20 Per category.
Self Help
1 The Wimpy Wizard's Exercise Guide - Can't lift your staff? Spell book too heavy? Build muscles one page at a time!
2 Case That Castle! - Don't be an amateur! Buy this book and learn to spot your best way into a tower of riches!
3 Vocabulary For the City-Bound Thug - Step up your game brute! Bash with BIG words like "Insect" and "Fodder"
4 Groveling Etiquette For Minions - When to bash your head on the floor. Swift backward kneeling navigation. More!
5 Fighter's Primer of Threats - "Back Off!" is weak. Holding the spine of your last opponent while screaming it. Better.
6 My Familiars Hate Me! - Stop blaming those creatures. Do they ALL hate you? I think we have found the problem.
7 Beckle's Guide to Obnoxious Triumph! - Gratify your appetites! WIN every argument with relentless, loud rudeness!
8 Unlock Your Inner Magistrate - Don't make requests. Issue orders! Don't walk ANYWHERE. Sedan chairs people!
9 Does Your Imp Need Spectacles? - Dozens of charts to find out. Last Page: "Otto's Glasses" Free Coupon!
10 Why All of Your Friends Hate You - And why Enid Spandau is a pimply faced, boyfriend stealing little strumpet.
11 Post Monster Nightmare Therapy - 20 Methods to rid yourself of PMN forever! Chapter One: Stop adventuring.
12 Anger Management for Barbarians - Simple Exercises to keep you from slaughtering your party. Lots of pictures!
13 Fifty Health Tips For Monster Encounters - Avoid: dragons, orcs, sharks, wolves, harpies, zombies, ghouls, rats . . .
14 Stop Armor Odor! - Leather, Steel or Padding, You can keep your combat protection and NOT reek like raw sewage!
15 Purchase Your Happiness! - Bad Ballads? Sour Spells? Dull Daggers? Fill your life with Possessions! It always works!
16 Take That Quest! - Tales of adventuring to inspire you and set you on the road to riches! (Or agonizing death.)
17 Mission Fashion Guide - Suit your LOOK to the quest. Slum assassin? Dress down. Embassy? Dress Up!
18 Cleric, Heal Yourself! - So your parents wanted a thieving killer. That's THEIR problem! Drop the shame and LIVE!
19 The Nihilist Warlock - Your patron doesn't care. You don't care. I don't care. Buy this book or don't. Who cares?
20 What's Your Rune? - Put your symbol on everything. It won't make you feel better, but it will give you something to do.
Miscellaneous Non-Fiction
21 Air Conditioning With Cold Spells - Hire that caster and fill your establishment with grateful summertime customers!
22 Draconic Pen Pal Registry - Add YOUR name and converse with Dragons from far away. Very, very FAR away.
23 Windundle's Book of Dramatic Stances - 50 Illustrated poses for casting your spells with style!
24 Tapasto's Scepter Round-up - Curator Gwiagulo Tapasto's treatise on more than 50 scepter styles through the ages.
25 The Offal Walls of East Paleeg - City wall construction that made them double as toilet waste containers. A tragedy.
26 Curr of the City - A massive collection of street dog sketches. Who they bit. How they pooped. Bound in cat skin.
27 The Urchin Gift Guide - Practical information on how to select, refurbish, sanitize and gift wrap your urchins.
28 Wagon Repair For Village Idiots - Unique fixes to get those wagons rolling again. All attempted and proven insane.
29 Thirty Years of Town Council Meeting Minutes - Buy my book. The Town doesn't want it. I wrote good. It is exciting.
30 Grimickle's Tome of Jerkins - Construct your own peasant jerkin with a rope and four stolen door mats!
31 The Marjorie Speckington Map of Goblin Junk Yards - A treasure trove for the serious Hermit with a head cold.
32 Cats of Splendor Pile - Street Sketches - Who served them - Who was allowed to pet them - Bound in dog skin.
33 The Royalty of Squaremile - 1000 year succession of this tiny, tiny . . nearly non-existent country. . . Why?
34 Heraldry For the Manure Artist - How to rob prideful idiots of their gold with these impressive phony crests!.
35 Human Repair - If you come across a broken human, this manual may save you time and gold to fix it.
36 Nacklejaw's Parade of Buckets - Wood! Fabric! Stone! Nacklejaw shows us all how buckets transformed the world!
37 Light Your Home with Acolytes - Don't buy candles or lamps! Enslave acolytes who cast light. Save thousands!
38 Parrot Curse Training Guide - Teach Polly to swear like a drunken Grandma. Maidens will smirk. Sailors will faint!
39 Calibrating the R-5200 Multi-Speed Hammer Golem - Pro Blacksmiths will cherish this step-by-step manual.
40 Gold From Your Fly Spell - Cartography. Tactical Melon drops. Blackmail surveillance. Distributing Flyers . . More!
Romance
41 Passion's Proud Goblin- Green, ferocious, tiny and alone. None of this would stop their Love!
42 The Captain's Naked Ghost- Haunted by denial, true hearts find ethereal love on the open seas.
43 Love's Lustful Lycanthrope - In Human form . . . a green grocer. In the fullness of the moon, her plaything.
44 Her Forbidden Orc - He stank. He Drooled. He broke the furniture and ate the pets. And she Loved him.
45 Seething Cleric Orgy - One night a year they hide from their gods. One night they perform a ritual ALL their own.
46 Unbound Fish Folk of Desire - Packed to the gills with explicit detail. Excellent beach reading.
47 Kiss of the Elven Whip - Pain and ecstasy are bound in leather. So is the book.
48 Phylactery of My Hidden Heart - She taunted her lovers with devilish coldness. Until one discovered her secret!
49 Love's Shattered She-Wolf - Across two continents she roamed. Leaving a trail of howling, broken lovers!
50 The Tinkerer's Toy Testers - Could LOVE spring from springs? Desire from devices? They would ALL find out.
51 Shame of the Succubus - It is the curse of the seductress to tempt multitudes and be tamed by ONE!
52 Giants in Jail - The bars are bigger. The guards are bigger. The cells are bigger. The . . .everything's bigger.
53 Wild Willful Wisp - He thought he could lead this mortal on. Until he was smitten by the beautiful wanderer.
54 Wish of the Wanton Witch - She had too many suitors from her wily craft. She released all but three. Sizzling!
55 Lilly's Bold, Sword Wielding Bastard of Romance - She wooed him. He took her. Then they had a sandwich.
56 Perils of the Longing Priestess - From the moment their eyes met, her lover SWORE she would be converted!
57 The Bartender's Secret - He wanted to have sex with the barmaid. Oh crap! Well read it anyway. It's filthy.
58 The Wench and the Stable Boy - One served beer. One shoveled manure. They never met. Sorry about the title.
59 Courtship By Cantrip - He quenched his lust with magic charms. But where would it end? Probably on page 234.
60 Moans of the Minotaur - A randy pack of adventurers turn this beast's domain into a blazing maze of passion!
Hobbies
61 Road Herring's Journal of Jocularity - Twenty tales of loitering by a road and steering adventurers to nowhere. Fun!
62 Armor Flipping For Fun and GOLD - Seedy, punctured chain mail. Dented, rusty plate. Stanky leather. Make it NEW!
63 The Telepathic Prankster - Be the voice in someone else's head. Get them to wear meat or paint their socks.
64 Tree Planting for Non-Druids - Hate nature? So do we! But if you MUST make something grow, here's how.
65 Build That Xylophone : With Barrel Staves! - How to get them from the cooper for FREE. Detailed plans.
66 The Dung Dolly Handbook - Use metal molds to make doll parts from cow patties. Drying tips and paint pointers!
67 Your Big City Cabbage Farm - A window box method for fresh veggies. Cleaning off pigeon droppings. Recipes!
68 Splengulo! The Art of Made Up Languages - Substitute your own sounds for common words. MINUTES of fun!
69 The Naughty Scrimshaw Collector - Carved whale bone with "special" scenes. Source from Sailors. Gather 100's.
70 The Shrieking Haggler - Get a lower price EVERY time at the market place with relentless, nasal, cutting WHINES.
71 The Skywriting People Watcher - Foretell DOOM and spot the panic-prone, the skeptics and the illiterate all at once!
72 The Vintage Potion Bottle Price Guide - Standard base costs for potion bottles the world over! 1 year to over 100.
73 McKnee's Homemade Glue Manual - Beetles, grubs, slugs and tree saps. Even gruel can glue. Extensive guide!
74 The Foot Pedal Bow Lathe Songbook - "Oh Gods!" "This is tedious!" "My legs are SHOT!" "Somebody Kill me!" More.
75 Twenty Urchin Powered Mills - Complete plans. Put those kids to work and watch the wheels turn time into Gold!
76 Fifty False Rumors - Tavern tales to tantalize twits. Missing cities, talking horses, virtuous kings and more!
77 Stage Combat! - A Bard's guide to self defense. When tales or songs offend, this guide may save your pipes.
78 Flour Power! - Fireball FUN for mere coppers! A few bags of flour and a flame can blast out an entire tavern.
79 The Secret Saddle Gem Stasher's Guide - Hide your wealth in horse hooves and riding tackle. Pictures!
80 Complete Guide to Lewd Shadow Puppetry - 20 pages of sultry silhouettes. Performance scripts Banned in 8 cities!
Magic
81 Be Your Own Boss! - Cast your group transport spells on a schedule! Sell tickets! Rake in the platinum!
82 The Snoring Shaver - 20 lost spells for a caster's hygiene. All performed while you sleep! Shower while dreaming!
83 Illusion Spells For the Terminally Bored - Crotch Fire, Giant Baby Rampage, Rain of Walnuts. 100's more!
84 Store Spells in your Beard! - Captured, bound and gagged? These pages reveal a method to weaponize your chin!
85 Water Spells. What THEY don't want you to know! - Gods and Liches are keeping an OCEAN of secrets from you!
86 Seal Fiends for Sealant - Summon, Trap, Fluff and Stuff! Punish evil and insulate your home at the same time!
87 Spell Safety In Tight Spaces - Avoid elbow smacks to the eye or wands up noses. Pages of tips for cramped casting.
88 The Casting Corpse - Simple methods to appear 100% stone dead during battles. No powers! FREE blood packs!
89 Wizard Gang! - A Wizard alone is toast. A pack of twelve can take down a castle or woo the town heart breaker!
90 Scroll GOLD! - Sell kid's party favor scrolls that blast confetti or summon sharks! 100's of best-selling ideas!
91 Wands and Ammo - This year's top models tested and rated. Gift Guide. Book listed pricing. Buy the BEST!
92 A Warlock's Dating Guide - Is your true love bored by spells? Tips on dress and hygiene. Romance like a mortal.
93 The Popular Poser - If you can freeze creatures and people in place, make their locked bodies extremely amusing.
94 The Freelance Caster's Guide Book - What to charge as you sell your magic. Discount charts and tables!!
95 The Caster's Caliber Compendium - Enchantment, enhancement and warding of those newfangled "bang" rods.
96 The Golem Dancer - They can crush. They can smash. Some can even speak. Now teach them reels and capers!
97 Bone Dry Magic - Ichabod Smool's treatise on waterproofing your staff, wand and most importantly...Your BOOKS!
98 Build Your Own Crackleby G-3700 Spiral Ratchet Spring Return Lightning Crystal Recharger From Scratch.
99 Caster In The Rye - Personal journal of Marcolus Hominum, master brewer of "Arcanum Ales" for 416 years.
100 I Speak Common to My Circlet - Gillian Fang's spell-storing rituals that will teach your headwear to KICK ARSE!
