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1
|
In a Victorian Drawing Room |
a seated
fish |
is
drinking coffee with |
A
chocolate lamp post |
in
midwinter. |
2
|
Among the twisting maze of pipes in the
basement of
a gasworks |
a well
dressed little boy |
is aiming
a revolver at |
a bit of
lemon peel |
as a
chill breeze blows. |
3
|
On
a 3 masted Tall ship |
The
Frankenstein Monster |
is
demonstrating coin tricks for |
a
portrait of Churchill |
in a
pouring rain. |
4
|
In a corridor within a lunar base |
a very
intelligent iguana |
is
dealing a hand of blackjack to |
the first
emperor in Chinese history |
on the
hottest day of the year. |
5
|
In a jungle clearing |
Thomas
Edison |
is
throwing a dirty diaper at |
a live
koala glued to the back wall of a pizza parlor |
in the
darkness of a foggy night. |
6
|
In a microscopic hollow, inside a brick |
Sherlock
Holmes |
is
polishing a pile of bowling balls with the help of |
a rhino
in a tuxedo |
on a
beautiful spring morning. |
7
|
Under a shaky concrete bridge |
Hamlet |
is
cooking chicken over a fire in order to feed |
a
cupboard full of dirty dishes |
during
the tremors of a mild earthquake. |
8
|
On the roof of the whitehouse |
an
animated and intelligent snowshoe |
is
arguing fiercely with |
a rubber
replica of a cocoanut |
as a
tornado approaches. |
9
|
In a pressurized dome on the Ocean floor |
A tall,
brunette fashion model wearing a jogging suit |
claps two
chalkboard erasers over the top of |
an
airline serving cart |
as the
humidity rises. |
10
|
In a spacious treehouse |
the
greatest swordsman on Earth |
is
getting a haircut from |
the god
Zeus |
at the
height of a blizzard. |
11
|
On the open prairie |
a ninja
on stilts |
is
watching a comedy on television with |
Mister Ed |
as the
sun goes down. |
12
|
In the glove compartment of a
Rolls-Royce |
the
Surgeon General |
is
ripping up a pamphlet and throwing the pieces at |
Gammera |
during a
violent a hailstorm. |
13
|
On the top of a giant turtle |
a plumber |
waves a
flag with a smiley face at |
identical
twin dwarf warriors |
in a high
wind. |
14
|
Inside a giant, hollow, plastic pink
flamingo |
the
bishop of Westminster |
is
stomping on mechanical beetles so that they can't get to |
a classic
1920's "flapper" girl |
in the
murky morning light. |
15
|
In a
neighborhood
coffee shop |
a
sparkling, talking cloud |
is
telling bad jokes and riddles without answers to |
an
alligator standing on its hind legs, wearing a monocle and waistcoat |
as
fireballs fall randomly from the sky. |
16
|
In a vast abandoned movie theatre |
a
lizardman who looks like Yogi Bear |
plays
angelic music on a glass harp for |
Gandalf |
as the
locust swarm approaches. |
17
|
In a vast sub-terainean cavern |
a
beautiful Drow bootmaker |
poses for
a portrait being painted by |
Fabio |
and every
sound echoes. |
18
|
On the surface of a mile-square mirror |
the
Maytag repairman |
is
cutting out paper snowflakes and handing them to |
Cthulu |
as the
light keeps flickering. |
19
|
On the Roof of a SanFrancisco cable car |
Rudolph
the red nosed reindeer |
is
juggling torches with |
Rasputin |
and
stomping the swarm of red ants that have arrived. |
20
|
While climbing up the down escalator |
Ebenezer
Scrooge |
is
balancing 2 bowls of icewater on |
the Mayor
of Cleveland |
but time
is speeding up. |
21
|
Under
a vinyl pool covering in Patterson NJ
|
Michelangelo's
David
|
explains
the benefits of term life insurance to
|
a
werewolf with a hoolahoop
|
with
a lava flow rapidly approaching.
|
22
|
At
the salad bar of a rooftop restaurant
|
Heidi
|
smears
hot mud onto a playing card and hands it to
|
Liberace
|
as
a dynamite siren blares nearby.
|
23
|
Tunneling
through the rubble of the Stardust Casino
|
an
Andorian accountant
|
tries
to impersonate a giant spider, but does not impress
|
Victor
Hugo in a cardboard barrel
|
while
the air is getting choked with soot.
|
24
|
Perched
at the top of an Incan temple
|
a
Russian bus driver with the flu
|
slams
a rubber swordfish against his/her/it's own back, highly distressing
|
the
guy from "Trading Places" who was sooo interested. in the "nice purse"
|
and
it's believed everything yellow is about to disappear.
|
25
|
On
a very large sled speeding down the side of a snow covered mountain
|
a
30 year old wadded up cotton rag soaked with kitchen grease that has
suddenly become "self
aware"
|
shoots
spitballs at
|
the
first person Leonardo DaVinci ever accidentally bumped into
|
as
a shower of tinfoil strips materializes out of thin air.
|
26
|
In
the orchard where the actual grapefruit grew that was used so
rudely by James Gagney
|
A
Chicago hot dog vendor
|
makes
elephant noises as if his/her/its life depended on it in order to
protect
|
Robby
the Robot who is performing jumping larriet rope tricks
|
and
they can't hear themselves think because of the 10 thousand tubas
playing.
|
27
|
In
the haunted basement of an abandoned penetentiary
|
the
winner of the all USA spelling Bee competition
|
smacks
those little red roll cap-gun caps with a hammer because the smell
really annoys
|
the
first human being to bungee jump
|
and
two little red sniper dots of laser light appear on both of them.
|
28
|
On
the surface of an Alka Seltzer Tablet descending toward a mug of
boiling bleach
|
Ricky
Ricardo, sporting a fresh black eye and wearing an evening gown
|
tries
to force lumps of cold sauerkraut into a hollow magic 8-Ball so
he/she/it can give it to
|
the
original guy who hung from the hardhat in the first superglue commercial
|
ignoring
the swarm of driverless "big wheels" heading their way.
|
29
|
In
the lobby of New Swann Castle
|
Somebody
in that big Koolaid pitcher costume
|
pulls
out a wooden switchblade and tries to scare
|
Abbie
Hoffman, who won't get off his cell phone
|
as
their bones become glass without them knowing it.
|
30
|
Deep
within the carnival's house of mirrors
|
Margaret
Dumont
|
is
stirring microchips into a bowl of kasha and is about to serve it to |
Smokey
the Bear, presently trapped in a sensory deprivation tank |
as
every surface around them seems to be spontaneously growing its own
Urban graffiti.
|
31
|
Depicted
on a television screen mounted to the wall of an elevator shaft
|
Adrienne
Barbeau
|
breaks
hundreds of umbrellas, one after another while staring accusingly at
|
the
guy who completely made up the George Washington Cherry Tree - hatchet
story
|
but
the smell of banana peels halts all activity.
|
32
|
On
the Pennsylvania Turnpike, just a few yards north of exit 36b
|
an
industrial robot arm with a Halloween mask of Nixon on the end of
it
|
tries
to make a "silly string" bridge over the top of
|
Godzilla
who is tightly gripping his coloring book collection
|
but
failure is pre-determined, as is the outbreak of loose hermit crabs on
every surface.
|
33
|
At
the main branch of Barnes and Noble in Manhattan
|
a
member of the MardiGra clean-up crew wearing a kevlar business suit
|
reads
a transcript of "The adventures of the Blue Beetle" to
|
Pippi
Longstocking, who refuses to stop saying "pull my finger" as she grins
|
despite
the nerve gas recently flooding the area.
|
34
|
In
one of the women's bathrooms at Linden Labs
|
that
poor guy dressed as a bellhop that spent his entire life screaming
"Call for Phillip Morris!"
|
is
drawing a skull and crossed bones with a felt tipped laundry marker on
|
A
Great Dane wearing a sandwich board that reads VICTORY!
|
while
a torrent of lavender paint rains down from above.
|
35
|
Inside
that giant, wierd useless cage in Gadgetzan
|
a
balloon sculpture that looks exactly like Judy from Lost in Space
|
levitates
with a bucket of Goblin Pee threatening to pour it on
|
the
ghost of Captain Kangaroo
|
and
the air is becoming as thick as mollasses.
|
36
|
On
the sidewalk in front of the Tick-Tock Diner in manhattan
|
The
Iron Giant Robot
|
is
putting on a pair of rollerblades, and getting ready to go skating with
|
the
Lady of Chalot who is wearing a bike helmet and carrying a wet, black
paint brush
|
but
everywhere they stand feels like crumbling bags of fortune cookies.
|
37
|
At
the very top of that long slanty ledge of desert rock where they filmed
nearly all of the
outdoor Classic Star Trek episodes
|
The
Staypuffed Marshmallow man
|
is
beating out a rhythm on the tight skin of a tribal drum attempting to
evoke a fit of primitive
dancing from
|
Cecille
B. Demille who is trying to play "Fanfare for the Common Man" on the
spoons
|
as
the international dateline solidifies and breaks free, sweeping across
the planet, like the
edge of a curved razor blade scraping over a peach.
|
38
|
On
the planet Ceti Alpha 3
|
anim5
with his eyes closed
|
is
throwing fragile knick knacks straight up into the air and hoping that
they don't land on his head or the head of
|
a
nearby wobbling inflated punching clown
|
and
the local gravity is double what it should be.
|
39
|
Inside
the putrid dumpster behind a convenience store in Blithold, New mexico
|
a
French plasterer with too much coffee in him
|
tries
to pull the arms off of
|
Jack
Nicholson's chiropractor
|
while
an unseen stranger hums "Oh, Holy Night".
|
40
|
At
the world ice-sculpture competitions
|
the
very first human being who ever danced
|
using
stacks of AOL discs, creates a wall around
|
Abbot
and Costello with their mouths taped shut |
despite
the drizzle of Real Lemon
concentrate.
|